


Love or Hatred

by xLeePricklesx



Category: Ballum, EE - Fandom, EastEnders, Soap - Fandom, soaps - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Crime, M/M, Spoilers, Violence, gun - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-31
Updated: 2019-07-31
Packaged: 2020-07-28 05:27:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20058760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xLeePricklesx/pseuds/xLeePricklesx
Summary: Basically, thursday where Ben is about to go to Keanu to shoot him as it left off on Tuesday.GUNS! GUUNS





	Love or Hatred

The air was musty in the street, the afternoon bright but coming to its end. Callum had his palms resting his chin, his elbows leaning on his desk and his eyes blankly staring at the wall. He was meant to pack up and go by now yet the energy to do so was lacking. Callum would rather sit and think then go home and pretend its nothing. His head hurts, aches at the lies. His facade is cracking. Lately, he would nudge or shuffle Whitney off him, always getting a huff out of her as she gets annoyed and pushes away. Can you blame the man though? Everytime she lays a finger on him, he would flinch at the sudden coldness and echoing in his head. But Callum's mind will always wander, wander towards the boy Callum hates. He hates him, every inch. To his spiky hair, his stubble, his blue neon eyes that would peacefully flapper during the day, his pink rosey lips that were always perfectly placed and his beautiful body. Callum hates it so much he adores the boy. He cant stop thinking about him, the masterpiece that he hated. He hated and hated till he realised it wasnt hate at all. It was all pretend, like the rest of his life. This addiction, this poison! It was only admiration and deep deep passion of love. Love? Callum never used the word anymore, it seems to distance, too not real! Its impossible to truly love thats perfect. Over these weeks, the fear and the gasping dreams, he had no other words to describe it. What he thinks of Ben is something else? Love or hatred, it could be the same...

The door opened and harshly slammed shut, slow and loud echos of footsteps following closer to Callum. The undertake exhaled, assuming it was Whitney. He rubbed his eyes and put on a weak and forced smile as the enterer walked into the room. ''Oh, workers that smile when customers walk in, surprising for an funeral parlour, i must say!'' The hated boy beaked, a smirk resting on his elegant lips. Callums heart fluttered, his body froze and tensed. This feeling inside hasnt happened since Ben ranted at him when heading towards the carlot, the same Ben covered in cuts which made Callums heart weigh. The older exhaled even more air, needing it this time. He felt the air be taken away from him, the sorrow and evil fleeing out of his mind. Callums lips flickered to the smile to an agape mouth. ''B-Ben!'' Callum muttered, realising that Ben has actually talked to him since ages. He looked the same, cuts and bruises, the basic old Ben. But somehow, Callum felt a miss of the man. As if its the first time he'd seen him. ''Yep thats me, aint staying for long so you can hop to your bride! Just gotta ask a few questions if you dont mind mate!'' Ben called, collapsing in the chair facing the desk. He relaxed into it before peaking his eyes towards Callum. ''J-Jays already left if your asking him these questions...'' Callum mumbled, not getting his hopes up that for some reason Ben was here for him. The shorter male rose his eyebrow and scoffed. ''Already saw Jay today! Come after you if that isnt a problem.'' Ben informed, smile rising as he saw Callums eyes flick with happiness. And Callum did feel happy, for once Ben had come to him since forever. ''Of course not! Hit me.'' Callum said, feeling an uncontrollable weezyness inside. ''Dont do domestic violence Callum, i'll pass on the offer to hit you!'' Ben joked, slowly chuckling to himself as if he had just said and inside joke. ''Ah, not like that Ben!'' Callum explained, smiling slightly but feeling uncomfortable as something the way Ben said it was uneasy. ''I know, i know!'' Ben started before continuing. ''You were in the army right, dealed with guns!'' Ben slurred, eyes becoming more dilate and serious, as if every word Callum said about information would be sunk into him like a vacuum. ''U-Uh, yeah yeah!'' Callum stuttered, looking down at the desk. ''So you studied them, know how to use them.'' Ben sat up straighter before looking Callum in the eye and adding.''Know where the weakest part is to shoot with a bullet, blow into it! Painfullest and effective, am i not correct?'' Ben blemished, eyes full of wonder. Callum huffed before looking to his side as if to get away from the conversation. It was creepy and concerning. ''Yeah i do know... Why?'' Callum asked, feeling slightly out of place. Ben smirked and sat back from his straight position and breathed in a long, gaspy breathe as if he was relived. ''So where is it? The head, the heart! Which is the most painfullest!'' Ben cackled, suddenly standing up and slamming his hands on the desk before towering over Callum. His smile was displeasing and his eyes overflowed with insanity. Callum knew something was wrong, something was happening he couldnt predict. ''Why do you need to know this?'' Callum challenged, not giving in to the information Ben desired most. Ben frowned and pushed off the desk, leaning on his chair. ''No reason at all, now tell me!'' Ben demanded, fiddling with his jackets pocket before puffing out his chest. The undertaker crossed his arms before raising an eyebrow. ''If theres no reason, its pointless! I dont need to tell you anything.'' Ben became angry. His shoulders tensed and his lips fell into place as disgust. ''There is a reason, you'll find out sooner or later!'' Ben hissed, shoving his hands in his jeans pocket. ''Well, i guess i'll wait later then.'' Callum chuckled, feeling nervous. ''Come on Cally! Dont be so salty and a party pooper!! I'm just having fun!'' Bens toned calmed down abit, but a mystery still was held in it. ''Doesnt matter! I feel like your telling me something that aint true, Ben!'' Callum hit back, full of seriousness as Bens face soften. The shorter bit his lip and held his arm like a child would do when the parent found out something bad they did. ''I-i'm telling you the truth, Callum!'' Ben kicked the floor, staring down at it. ''Then look at me in the eye and tell me that!'' Callum demanded, hitting the desk slightly. Ben exhaled and looked up at Callums eyes cautiously. ''I am telling the truth! Just for fun Callum, just wanted to s-surprise... J-Jay with a paintball g-gun!'' Ben rambled on, as if making up every word. Callum softened his facial expressions before muttering. ''The head does more effect, depending on the gun you use! It is the most quickest and least painfullest! Yet the chest left would be painful..'' Ben smiled thankfully before nodding. ''T-Thanks!'' Ben bit his lip before walking closer to Callum. He slowly put his arms around Callum and hugged him, squeezing him abit. Callum felt on fire, as if sparks was coming out his head. The warmth soothed Callum as a smile placed on his lips automatically. He put his arms around Ben, being a little stretched as he was sitting and Ben was standing. Callum put his arms around Bens waist and felt something ruffle in his jacket pocket. Ben pulled away and laughed awkwardly. But Callum didnt respond, his lips werent smiling and he suddenly stood up. Ben took a step back and rubbed the back of his neck. ''S-Sorry! Just a thank you as a hug, ha!'' Ben laughed, before trying to exit. But Callum smoothly slammed the wall infront of him, not letting him leave or get any inch closer to the exit. ''Whats in your pocket?'' Callum blankly asked, feeling boiling anger rise. Bens eyes widen before patting his jean pockets and rolling his eyes. ''Already want to get inside my jeans ay? Well sorry mate, nothing in 'ere!'' Callums eyes twitched as he stayed in the position. ''Jacket pocket.'' Callum hissed, looking up at Ben with pure displease. He watched Ben lips turn to nervousness as he slowly and shyly smiled, yet his eyes were telling a different story. They seemed shocked and scared.''Nothing important! Some cigarettes i think!'' Ben accused. Callum stepped closer, watching Ben shuffle away. ''You smoke?'' Callum rose his eyebrow, seeing through the lies. He knows what he felt. ''K-Keeping them for a friend, Callum! W-Whats the big deal?'' Ben lied, stepping back from the taller. ''What friend?!! Jay doesnt smoke , pretty sure Lola doesnt either!'' Callum slightly yelled. ''I-I have other friends than that!'' Ben huffed, biting the inside of his cheek. ''Then let me see the cigarettes!'' Callum applied. ''What? Have you never seen cigarettes before?!'' Ben chuckled slightly. Callum pushed Ben against the wall, shoving his hand in his jacket and pulling out the object. He threw the black object on the desk harshly before scoffing loudly. ''A fucking gun, Ben! Why the fuck do you have a gun?'' Ben shuffled in his place, not responding. ''D-Do you know the damage they cause? They end lives, they affect lives! They are deadly and you go wandering out carrying that shit!'' Callum scolded, shaking his head in disbelief. ''Why do you think i came here to ask about it? I didnt want to have a little chat with you about your beautiful fiancee did i?'' Ben booed. ''Who were you going to use that on?'' Callum lowered his tone. ''No on-''  
''Who the fuck were you using that on, Ben!?!'' Callum interrupted before shouting it. ''K-Ke...Keanu...'' Ben whispered shamefully. ''H-him? W-What, why?'' Callum asked before Ben snapped at him. ''Because Callum! Everything is about him! You know one thing Callum fucking Highway!! Every family member is on my fathers will, everyone except me! It was fine though, fucking fantastic because i got the arches! As if that would shut me up!'' Ben sarcastically hooted, showing true heart ache. ''I-I thought it was fine! I just didnt fit there, atleast he gave me the arches so walaaa!!! But then Phil thinks its okay, its fine!! T-to add Keanu on the fucking list, replacing me with him! Keanu, Keanu, Keanu!!! No not Ben, hes too boring, to classic!! Never ever be like Ben, the fuck up, the mistake, the joke of this family! Y-You want to be like Keanu, successful, happy! A-And worth it...'' Ben jeered, before slowly sobbing at the end. Callum stood back as he watched Ben slowly sob into his hands. The older slowly stepped infront of him before wrapping his arms around the shorter and letting Ben sob into his suit. 

It felt like ages before Ben pulled away and rubbed his eyes. ''Sorry, that was d-dumb!'' Ben huffed out and laughing upset-tingly. ''Its wasnt dumb, Ben! But what you said wasnt true... You arent a joke and you are worth it!'' Callum calmed. ''I aint worth it, Callum! If anything, you are the most worth thing in existence!'' Ben smiled. ''For a man who said i wasnt worth the hassle, you certainly changed your tune!'' Callum beamed. Ben softened up before shaking his head. ''I-I was upset... I didnt mean it at all...'' Ben explained before he felt Callum poke up his chin so he was facing him. ''Y-Yeah well its fine...'' Callum said sounding like a dork. Ben chuckled before looking down. ''Dork!'' Ben said before looking up. ''Rude!'' Callum yelled playfully. ''But Keanu doesnt deserve it! It isnt his fault your father thinks...'' Callum stopped himself and Bens eyes poked up. His eyesbrows furrowed and he crossed his arms defensively. ''What? Thinks better of him! How doesnt he deserve any of that? I-I give him a job, something a little scumbag he needs! Specially like a family like his!'' Ben whirred. ''Ben please...'' Callum muttered, watching Ben rile up again. ''No! Keanu is responsible for this!'' Ben yelled, picking up the gun from the desk and forcefully pushing Callum out the way. ''No matter what a closet case like you've got to say!'' Ben called, storming off as Callum followed. 

He reached the arches, remembering the call he had made. He saw Keanu outside calling someone before punching the metal door harshly. Ben glared at him, smiling widely as the hatred reached his heart. He stepped closer before a voice rang out. ''Ben! Think about this will ya?'' Callum pleaded, walking across the corner. ''Leave, halfway!'' Ben scolded. ''Not till you drop the gun and walk away! Go to your daughter!'' Callum begged, glancing at Keanu who was nervously on the phone. Ben shrugged his shoulders and stormed towards Keanu. ''You!'' Ben screamed, voice breaking slightly. Callum awkwardly shuffling behind him. ''B-Ben, im so sorry!'' Keanu apologised before breaking a terrified breathe. ''I-I found him like this and i-i dont know!!'' Keanu mumbled before Ben stopped his movements and rose his head. ''W-What...?'' Ben asked, stepping aback at the frightened boy. ''P-Phil! H-Hes been attacked!'' Keanu explained before responding to the person on the phone. ''Yeah yeah, Walford!'' Keanu gasped before putting his phone down. ''I called the police... H-hes in there!'' Keanu told, watching Bens eyes widen before pushing past the metal doors. ''Ben wait!'' Callum called before walking in with him. ''D-Dad!'' Ben called, watching his lifeless body lay in the pit. ''Jesus Ben! I think its best if we leave!'' Bens fell on his knees, just staring at the body. ''Dad! C-Can you hear me? Dad!'' Ben yelled at the body. ''Ben come on!'' Callum pleaded, pulling at Bens shoulders. ''Dad! Wake up!!'' Ben sobbed. Callum saw the vulnerability in Ben, the little boy that just wanted his dads attention. His love. Ben hated Phil. Hated every inch of him. But hatred and love, it could be the same. ''Dad! P-Please..'' Ben sobbed. Callum kneed down beside him holding Ben in his arms. ''Its o-okay...'' Callum hushed. ''Dad!'' Ben screamed as Callum muffled him before holding onto him tighter. 

Ben stood up, his legs shaky and threatening to fall again. He smashed the door open before storming outside, Callum sprinting after him. ''The fuck did you do to my dad!?!!'' Ben screamed at Keanu who was shaking. ''Ben, i-i did nothing of what you saw in there!'' Keanu explained. Callum held Bens shoulder, not caring the look Keanu gave him. It wasnt the time. ''Ben, lets not point fingers, yeah!'' Callum calmed him. ''N-No! You did fucking something! What was it that you did, scumbag?!?! Did you kill my father?!?!'' Ben screamed as Blue and red lights flashed behind him and an alarm squealed. Callum arms wrapped around Ben before he cooed in his ear. ''We need to go, Ben...'' Bens shoulders relaxed at the warm touch. ''Come on, Ben...'' Callum hushed, leading Ben. ''C-Callum, please tell me this i-isnt real!!'' Ben begged, sobbing in his neck. ''I-Im so so sorry Ben... I wish i could, fuck i prey i could...'' Callum whispered as Ben winced. ''H-hes dead, isnt he?'' Ben voice croaked. ''L-lets go get some a-air, yeah...'' Callum mumbled into Bens ear, not responding to his question. ''I-I dont want my d-dad to die Callum... I-I still have you... T-There.... D-Dont i? Y-You wont l-leave, r-right?!'' Ben stuttered, choking on his sobs. Callum led them off to the park, not knowing where else to go. He'd probably take Ben to a hotel, not wanting to leave him. Callum kissed his forehead before shaking his head. ''Y-Your never going to loose me... Love or hatred... I will always be there for you!'' Callum convinced him. Ben sobbed more before mumbling. ''L-Love or h-hatred.... It could be the same....''


End file.
